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An experience that changed a patient's life was when Grace, who had a large gallbladder cancer, said "Doctor, please kill me". I sat quietly beside her bed, watching her sad face, waiting for her to describe her suffering. After 20 minutes of silence, I left. The following day she described her advanced cancer, uncontrolled pain and nausea. She would rather die. Was I willing to kill her to relieve her suffering? I explained that I did not think killing her was the solution to her problems.
Instead I listened to her concerns, and prescribed medications to control her pain and other symptoms. Within three days her whole attitude changed. She wanted to go on living, and she did, with great gusto.
A few days later she said, “Doctor, I am glad you did not kill me. I leave next week for a holiday in England. I have heard that you have just had a baby. Here is a present for him.”
The gift was a baby’s toy with four coloured pop-up animal heads. My “baby boy” is now a mental health clinical nurse. Last month I gave the toy to my grandson. Every time I see that toy I am reminded of the privilege of being a palliative care specialist.