Supporting children and young people

Children and young people may respond to traumatic events differently to adults.

They may:

• ask repeated or detailed questions
• become more clingy, withdrawn, or irritable
• show changes in sleep, appetite, or behaviour.

Try to keep explanations calm, factual, and age appropriate. Reassure them that they are safe right now and let them know they can ask questions when they need to.

Children and young people may show distress through behaviour rather than words. Keeping routines, offering reassurance, and checking in gently can help them feel safer. If a child appears very distressed, unsafe, or their behaviour changes significantly, consider seeking additional support from a GP, school counsellor, or mental health professional.

Even though these reactions are normal, they can still feel isolating and overwhelming. Thoughts like ‘but I wasn’t even there!’ can make someone feel like they don’t deserve to be feeling the way you do. Remember, what has occurred is incredibly traumatic and people do feel upset by what has happened. You and your children also deserve to feel supported.

Key points:

• Keep it simple and age-appropriate: Young children don’t need all the details. Focus on reassurance and safety.
• Be honest, but calm: Answer questions truthfully, without graphic detail.
• Validate feelings: Fear, sadness and confusion are normal. Let your child know it’s okay to feel this way.
• Limit media exposure: Too much coverage can increase anxiety.
• Model coping: Show calm and hope - children take cues from the adults around them.

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Where to find support:

Australia

• Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 – free support for children and teens
• Lifeline: 13 11 14 – 24/7 emotional support including via text, and chat.
• NSW Mental Health Line: 1800 011 511 – for anyone in distress
• 13YARN: 13 92 76 – Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander crisis support

Aotearoa New Zealand

• Youthline: 0800 376 633, text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz for free 24/7 support
• The Lowdown: 0800 111 757 or text 5626 – free help for young people with depression or anxiety
• 0800 What's Up: 0800 942 8787 Monday to Sunday 11am to 11pm – free support for children and teens

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Helpful guides for parents:

• Emerging Minds – Talking to children about violent events
• Royal Children’s Hospital – Discussing distressing news events
• Save the Children – How to talk to children about terrorism